


some star too near the earth

by TomBowline



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Epistolary, Established Relationship, Fantasizing, Fluff and Smut, Genderqueer James Fitzjames (1813-c.1848), James In A Dress, Other, Post-Canon, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Vignettes, and one part complaining about the admiralty, several dresses actually, this fic is basically one part fluff and three parts 1850s phone sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26680405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomBowline/pseuds/TomBowline
Summary: A letter from an unknown Royal Navy Officer to his lover, dated May 10th-11th, 1854.
Relationships: Captain Francis Crozier/Commander James Fitzjames
Comments: 18
Kudos: 108





	some star too near the earth

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration and title for this fic shamelessly lifted from the letters of James Joyce to Nora Barnacle. Hopefully it’s sufficiently legible, I tried to keep those grammatical quirks of the historical Crozier’s letters that didn’t interfere too much with comprehension and discard those that did. I also broke it up into more manageable paragraph lengths than I would have preferred for accuracy’s sake, because I would dearly love for people to be able to read it.

Document M/18/10.2150 - A letter from an unknown Royal Navy Officer to his lover, dated May 10th-11th, 1854. Recovered from within the false bottom of a steamer trunk monogrammed JF, dating to 1833 and acquired by the museum at an auction in 1974 (Artifact P/18/10.232). Not discovered, transcribed, and entered in the archival system until 2019; appears to have been missed or ignored by archival staff upon receipt of the trunk. Not on display. Not suitable for viewing by those under the age of 18.  
Note: contact Maritime Museum - Crozier?

Document transcript:

Queens Arms Inn, 128 Bishop St, Portsmouth

May 10th 1854

J—- dearest,

Well my dear I am arrived in Portsmouth safe although not quite sound - I was detained three hours at Admiralty House - the Lords Commissioners gave me no warm welcome to speak of - the victualling comptroller who is of course the one I am really here to see may be more amiable but I will not speak to him til to-morrow as I am quite fagged out. I am lodging at an inn which has a respectable some might say an enjoyable selection for suppers - Certainly it is better than some of the slop you can find in the pubs here I know we both are well familiar with it. I am taking supper upstairs by the excuse of my status as a man of importance however dubious and a pain in my hip from the journey so you ought not to worry about the bar-room - do not worry about the pain either as it is much better with the sea air. To-morrow I will write an account of my meeting with the victualler and whether we have a hope of success for our campaign. 

How I wish you were here with me - the journey was exceeding dull without your voice to speak to me and your shoulder to fall asleep upon - I am glad you are warm and comfortable at home yet I wish I could put you in my breast pocket and carry you with me wherever I go - what a view of the world you would get - you would have one of your lace handkerchiefs to make a nice nest for yourself and you would always be warm through. I do love you my dear and I hope you are enjoying the new novel. Will send this letter to-morrow or the next day if I am kept late as I fear I certainly will be.

May 11th

It has been another long day - as I expected the meeting with the victualler and his staff was extended several hours beyond the reasonable and very trying on my nerves - but I believe we have made good headway - Our Dr G———’s papers on lead and foreign substances exposure to bad airs through poor sealing etc certainly helped and I hope you will tell him so when you see him - also give him my regards and wish him well as he begins his study of psyciatry [sic] - lord what a list of errands I am giving you. You must forgive your old love for I find I wish very much to be home and so think on it excessively. You know I do not mind my hours of solitude but it seems it does not agree with me to be so very far from you and our little house.

You will wish to hear more on the meeting - the victualling dept has agreed to enact policies as will prevent such oversights as he called them from repeating - I hope you may hear the bitterness of my words as I recount that the deaths of near a hundred men and the debility of all survivors is termed by our lords and masters an oversight - what policies these are we may not know as they have not been decided upon. I am to stay here several more days in case they should have need of me again - It is an inexcusable demand on my time when I ought to be home with you. 

If you are missing me as dearly and as ardently as I miss you I hope you will read this letter when you are abed with the lamp making your proud face golden - after you slip out of every layer of fine fabric which clothes you so well in the day - after you have sat at your toilet in your China silk dressing gown combing your lovely hair out - after you have put on a soft flannel nightshirt one of mine perhaps or a nightgown with lace hems which ever [sic] pleases you to-night - when you are in our bed lying in your cocoon of feather blanket and bedspread and the warmth of the low fire kissing your body from across the room - (when you have your spectacles on for I know you do not like to wear them but they do your eyes good) - then read on my dear and you will know by what strength of desire I am gripped to-night longing to be with you. 

I have not burned so hot since we first were well enough to lie together. I know you remember the night for you quite lost patience with me - I thought myself quite noble for holding off as mad as I had been for you for so long - it was you who came to sit on my lap on the sofa to kiss me and sucked on my tongue as if it were a prick for you to bring off - you still had your boots on draped over the arm of the sofa careful not to scuff while you rubbed your long talented fingers over my cock in my trousers darling - You brought me off with your hot mouth and even then you could not be silent as you moaned most prettily around my yard - I laid you out on the sofa then and took your prick out to do the same not so well as you but you have trained me better since then. After that first fucking you recall we could not stop We seemed to be fucking out all the months of distance all at once. 

I feel the same fire now as I did then - a result of the distance from you I believe - a fever to be quenched only by a fucking. I wish you would fuck me in your new dress uniform - I have seen nothing but them these past two days and nobody carries it off so well as you by any means - every time I see the gold braid and brass buttons I remember them pressing into my back as you fucked into me hard and fast over your writing-desk - celebrating your promotion we said and what a fine captain you make with your yard bulging obscenely in your uniform trousers begging for a frig. I never imagined I would enjoy being fucked arseways so well as I do but your pretty prick fills my arse so perfectly - it is an extraordinary and lusty sensation to be joined so To feel you in me so deep. 

I think fondly also of fucking you in the country house we stayed in summer last - perhaps we ought to enquire if your friend will let it to us again this season for a two-week - I want to see you in the foyer of that grand house flushed and sweating from a ride over the dales and peel away the fine shirt wet with sweat from your hot skin - I would palm your tits and suck your cock and you would have me fuck you there on the marble floor with your riding boots still on - anyone might walk through the door and see what we get up to in such a fine house. We would not stop should the whole village come to gawk - we would be too wrapped up in our own pleasure - and I would not stop fucking you before you came gasping and moaning wantonly around me for anything in the world.

I even long to fuck you in your new trousers silly and expensive though they are - you have heard me grouse enough on the things but truly my tailor would have given you a better price - but if you would unlace them and let your fat blushing yard loose to leak onto my tongue and let me feel its weight fill my mouth (I believe I would know the weight of your cock in my mouth blind and deaf) and come off down my throat crying out for more and writhing with a hand petting my hair I may learn to love them. 

If you are in a nightgown to-night I hope you are wearing your split drawers for they bare you so wonderfully - so that I do not even need to unlace you for a fucking - I would spread them open and lick and suck at your cunt until it becomes quite slick - loose enough for my rough sailor’s fingers to slip in with no resistance at all - once I grease my prick and press into you you would be fucked well indeed taken in the best of care - your drawers hanging open to show me your prick leaving slick glinting trails on your twitching stomach as I fuck you slow and deeply with your elegant legs squeezing my sides to say “more” and “harder” and “come” - and after I spurt off inside you I would drop my head and lick into you again to suck your cunt clean of my seed until you shoot off without my hand touching your prick.

Do you remember our afternoon tea - I had thought it a frivolous trend but it was quite rewarding - you had a new gown made specially for it which would be enticement enough for me to try anything once for I know the joy it brings you to have such things and to share the wearing of them with me - and you told me beforehand with a sly smile that such a gown was meant to be easy to remove which was of course a bit of good news for me and my frostbitten fingers which are not fond of petticoat strings and corset knots. I wish to be back there with you and your gown half-removed for once I divined your purpose we would not wait - knees astride my thighs and riding me with your chest bared obscenely - skirts billowing and lifted away from your proud prick to prevent staining the undersides as it leaked in rivers onto my shirt-front. 

I know you remember when I grew frustrated with undressing you - it was in your red beaded gown I believe with your hair all up in ribbons and a pretty switch braided in - and flipped up skirts and petticoats to have you back-to-front and you holding onto the bedposts. The next day you played at being very cross with me for creasing the skirts and mussing your hair (freely I admit my guilt for I so wanted to feel your hair in my hand as I fucked into your slick clenching channel) and you had me with swift snaps of your hips and strong hands gripping onto my arse in only your corset and chemise - your shaven stones coming down often against my thighs - one finger stretching me beside your cock when the fancy took you - and made me come apart most shockingly. 

I wish to be fucked by you again with cock and fingers Or with your wicked ivory phallus driving into me and your mouth taking my prick and my hips twitching between in confusion of choice. I wish to fuck you all day and all night - using my fingers and tongue when my prick goes too soft to satisfy you. If I were ever to sea again I would grow so lonely without you that I would dream every night of being washed o’erboard in a squall and spirited down to the bottom of the deep by you my mermaid queen clad only in strings of lustrous pearls as you deserve - and kept there in your kingdom as your husband and your pet to lick your cunt or take your cock whenever you please - you would make me yours forever and I would stay there in unending bliss - caring for nothing but my queen’s sweet demands - consumed only by thoughts of our love.

I wish dearly to lay you down and fuck you well and then to lie beside you as we fall asleep my dear - that pleasant looseness in the limbs and ache in the muscles is soothed and made sweeter by your body next to mine warm and lovely - I wish to kiss you softly and wipe my spend from your cheek with a wet flannel - I wish for you to laugh softly at your novel in the lamplight until I must give in to curiosity and ask you what Miss Woodhouse has been into now - I wish to feel your breathing and your warm weight in the bed as I fall asleep and the same as I wake up. I miss you abominably my love and hope I shall not be long gone. I pray you will sleep well and not be afflicted with the same incurable longing as I. Within the week I am resolved to be for home no matter how the Admiralty contrive to keep me. I will hold you in my arms once again and very soon.

Your most devoted love

F——-


End file.
